Munirah Meerasa

Aku ni jenis orang yang payah nak terasa or berjauh hati dengan sapa-sapa pun, tp there are few moment aku terasa dengan orang and when that ish happen i will remember vividly. there one time i fell ill when i am still at hostel. if i'm not mistaken i was 17, i am now a senior, first month, we have senior orientation, dorm makeover and preparation for junior intake. on top of that i am the kooperasi team, meaning i have double task in the preparation for the junior registration day and the first two week of them at the school. Now my school is not a boarding school but 90% of the student do stay in dormitories and from all over the countries. so the registration is going to be so hectic with school registration few hrs of activities with school and then dormitories registration and all the way to the room and bed and all that jazz, follow up with welcoming activities and orientation for a week. and on top of that we have class to attend and school activities. not even 1 week ...

I can be a very good listener. anything you want to confide to be, ill be your sponge and listen to you. and after you finished you can go on about your day and not worry about your secrets and your trouble. i wont tell a soul. i have been like that for many years. But my biggest weakness is that i am a terrible at helping with trouble people. i don't know how to talk to people to make them spit out their trouble. that i don't have skill for that. If you want to talk to me, i'll be there. but if you are reluctant to share or need encouragement i..... i can't. At the end of the day i'm not an open person. not on private matter but also things that are very small and unimportant. i have this wall that i start to build up from ever since i can remember. So to do it with others, i don't know how to. My best friend right now just lost his brother. his dear brother. i cant bring myself to talk to her even i want to know her feeling how she is so badly. I overthink ...

So yeah i probably had said it few time that i am having problem falling sleep for more than few month, more like two year but its been on and off, but this time, it happen to for few month straight. Its either i would go to bed at any hour at all and fails to fall asleep until 2 am and woke up at 4 am and again at 5 am and repetitively 10 min interval until i give up trying to fall asleep and wake up, or i would passed out early and wake up at every hour. All the wake up in the middle of the night, always caused by a night mare. Its either continuous dream or a different dream each time. So naturally i get really desperate to solved my problem. Trying so many natural things that you would do, things that any normal human would do.  Heck, i even quit coffee for a week but it does nothing! Yeah! i am pissed. Long story short i had heard of a sleep remedy that some people would take in a form of pills, not sleeping pill, but a supplement route.  I did my research, ...

I look at the girl standing in the mirror I never did stopped and look at her ever I looked everywhere, her lips, chin, cheek, hair, shoulder, but refuse to meet her eyes I don't know how i would felt if i do, because i never try. She brushed her waist length hair Struggling to breathe To stay calm to look calm Her breath stuck and her finger trembling It won't stop, her living nightmare I stare at her boney wrist Wandering what's the tragedy What the triggers What drive her to this place She bite her lips Catching her breath Her eyes darted to the scissors on the corner I pity the discarded hairs on the floor They again became the victims Of her war against herself She breathe again Nothing changed But is her ways of saying "I had control on the situation,  not everything, at least this, i can i can control. " If you get the gist, it was me. In one of the moment of my mental breakdown where i lost sense of control and life in general i cut ...

Hey so. When i was 16 i moved to a boarding school. So like any other school we have prayer every day during dusk. Maghrib prayer. One day, when walking back from dinner as passing through the surau i hear a voice reciting surah aq quran. I was thinking that I've never heard that voice ever before. So i stopped and ask my roomate who also my classmates and seat mate, "Who is that? " she smile knowingly and just keep walking. Then the next day also the same thing, this time i heard his during adzan. And i was like "That voice goes straight to my heart." Again my roommate smiles at me. Without knowing who the owner of that voice i ask my boy classmates, yeah he would know. "Hey you wouldn't happen to know who doing adzan last maghrib do you?" "Owh. That must be Syaiful Akmal." And my life crushes in front of me. Why?  Heh let me tell you, Syaiful Akmal is that one guy that manage to make me hate him. And i don't hate on people ea...

Hi, Assalamualaikum, So Erm I’m back. Ha-ha, update, I am literally came back from the dead. I am recovering from a fever that is so bad that I had to take two days off work. Now I am not a person that simply take day off work for minor fever or pain. I would get so sick to the point I can’t even drive myself to get treatment. That me so when I go and get MC you know that I am really sick imagine someone like me staying alone? if you haven’t heard from me for a week you better find me. okay joke aside. This fever has been with me from two week prior, but what a few headache and minor fever, but last Saturday I woke up with sore throat and I instantly know this isn’t going away easy. Sunday it got worse, my tonsil swallowed up and it hurts to even swallow water. But I take vitamin c and drink water to keep me not get sick, but what do I know Monday I start to get flu, this is when my physical movement start to going slow and on Tuesday my joint start to ache an...

All of the sudden today i've remember something from the past. From when i was 15. This shows how vulnurable i was and still am. I take shit from people all the time and people just sees me as an easy target. But i am about done when they decide to just throw me like a piece of trash just because they could. I remember that i am so done with their shit and decide to stick to myself or rather stick to my egoself at the time but it is shown that i am not letting them do what ever they sees please. This happen when USM (University Sains Malaysia) had a join program with seagete to empower women, and they pick school from all around Penang to send their female student who are excell in Sains to participate in their program which is consist of attend 3 course for the whole day. So one day, our science teacher call out names that going to join this event. She pick based on our mark on this recent exam. the highest 4 from our class would join along with another 3 class. This when thin...