Life update : Bad collage memories?

Hi,
Assalamualaikum,
So Erm I’m back. Ha-ha, update, I am literally came back from the dead. I am recovering from a fever that is so bad that I had to take two days off work. Now I am not a person that simply take day off work for minor fever or pain. I would get so sick to the point I can’t even drive myself to get treatment. That me so when I go and get MC you know that I am really sick imagine someone like me staying alone? if you haven’t heard from me for a week you better find me. okay joke aside.
This fever has been with me from two week prior, but what a few headache and minor fever, but last Saturday I woke up with sore throat and I instantly know this isn’t going away easy. Sunday it got worse, my tonsil swallowed up and it hurts to even swallow water. But I take vitamin c and drink water to keep me not get sick, but what do I know Monday I start to get flu, this is when my physical movement start to going slow and on Tuesday my joint start to ache and I start to coughing and sneezing. And yesterday Wednesday I couldn’t wake up, it felt terrible. I can’t wake up, nor can’t I sleep. It hurt everywhere. I couldn’t breathe so I toss and turns but that didn’t help with my exploding headache and I keep feeling like needles pins on my body, it was a hot mess, and I was sweating like crazy, I could squeeze the sweat off shirt that I’m wearing the bed also got wet, TMI but that the reality. And as I am typing right now I am still sick, my voice is a whack and I couldn’t hear anything through my left ear as it is buzzing since my fever went high and also my head was spinning when I looked down at the keyboard so if you feel like something wrong with my sentence or something like that, do know that is why. So I took a decent shower just now, not these past two days while shower with sitting down on a chair because I would literally passed out in the shower.
As I am showering the memory of the collage life came to me. Well specifically the memories of my worse presentation of my two years of a student.
So I going to change all the name because I don’t want to hurt anyone (also I am trying to finish this today before I am dizzy and couldn’t sit straight anymore.) well we have Nancy who is super into details and very tidy with her works, then we have Amy who is a follower but always have a strong opinions about everything, then we have Riana who is the least smart but very hard working and want to learn and me who literally keeping the group together. We have been through so many presentations together so this one is not going to be any different.
This presentation however we got to pick to either have it in English, which I have no problem with or in Malay to which all the three of us agreed to right away, so for the sake of them to not struggle too much and actually nails this presentation I agree. We got the topic and the topic was about five different hadith and we have to breakdown the meaning complete with example. So all Malaysian student have studied hadith’s in exam. So, this supposed to be the same thing. Anyway we sat on as a group and break down the topic and after got all the points and everything I let them choose the topic they want. Because that what I always do. I want them to take on the topic that they felt confident with so they can do well. Each of them takes one and I decided to take two for myself just because. I explain to them few times and still they were like “I don’t get it. This is hard.” I felt at loss because I never failed to make them understand any topic that we learned before. Yeah it was hard but also everything is right there and I already gave them the entire example.
The day of presentation came and hours before the presentation we, once again sat down and practice and go through the possible question and answer that could be thrown at us. Granted that this class was a replacement class and it held in the evening so it would be just the presentation and then it’s over.
We get to the class and only the half of the class is coming and I was like thank god for the less audience presence. And we could do this in the language that we talk daily so there won’t be any problem…right?
I was wrong.
As soon as the presentation start it went light as I go first and the lecture joke about my northern accent that so obvious when I talked in Malay. I got shy for a second but I get in track and finished my part and I will do the closing part again after all the three of them finished with the part that I write for them and explain to them about what to do and help to came out with example with and all three of them fail to present it. It got worse to the point Nancy is looking at me to help her explain her part and I did help her explain to the class in detail. Then Amy turn, also the same thing I literally had to repeat her part to make sense of what she just said. Same goes to Riana. Anyone sitting there can clearly tell the frustration that I had. But my lecture didn’t say anything until we all finished. When I done with my presentation its question time.
My lecture, held his hand up and start talking “I had one question and I want all of you except for Munirah to answer this. Do you understand the topic?” I looked down. This is the worst case scenarios that could have happen. “I’m not asking Munirah because I know she can explain that whole thing to me in a heartbeat. Did you guys study this?” he then looked at me and I’m speechless. How come? We studied this. And I don’t know why they didn’t get it. Like…. I don’t know. May be we should go to a lecture for this. “Your group got the easiest topic out off all group. And still this happen.” With that I don’t remember the rest or how he dismissed the class or how I get out of the collage I guess I black out in that moment or I black out of that memory now. But all I can remember was me ranting to my roommate that is patiently sit and hear through it all. It is frustrating to me. Just putting this out there, these things happen to me, my entire collage life. I had to carry three people on my back and they are living their collage life out of me. I end up going solo on the sixth semester…I think. And I telling you I could choose which time I want to go to class and which group I want to be in. but also its suck because there is always going to be that one person who is a dead limb that you had to carry around but if not going to function let alone have any benefit at all. But that a story for another time. Moral is the worst position in my life always bring me to a less bad position? I don’t know. Argh, look if I was me four years ago I can came up with another paragraph of moral and bring all this shit show to land of positive. But me now is too jaded to be that person and I am not becoming a pessimist, but just a realist. So I would say, cut off this negative person that wouldn’t benefit you at all. And stop clean up after people shit.
As I proof read this my eyes can’t focus so apologies for the anything that seems off. Thank you anyway that you would read this or how the hell you came to my blog anyways but thank you. Just know that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone. at the very least you had me. I would lend you my ears. Advice? I kind of suck at the time because I also am batting to stay positive and trying to be myself again. Example is me typing the even though I should be rest now. I had an idea and I had to write this down so I came here. Okay. That enough of me rambling I had work tomorrow and I haven’t taken my medicine yet.