Munirah Meerasa

Bila dia care lebih skit.  Rasa seronok. Kamon lah girls smpai bila nak syok sendiri.  Jd kuat.  Mental and fizikal. Even the toughest exterior can crumble when it come to heart.  Hati nie mudah sangat terbuai. Lelaki.  Tahan skit perasaan tuh.  Tau lah single n bebas buat apa and kawan dengan sapa pun.  Tp careful lah sikit. Sebab hati nie lembut dan mudah terpaut. Cakap x suka bagi harapan.  Tapi dari pagi smpai malam kau mesej dia x berhenti. Bila dia ignore kau cari kau buat smpai dia cakap jugak dengan kau. Kau kata x salah nak berkawan.  And kau tunggu dia smpai dia habis kerja.  Sanggup. Smpai bila dia dah buka peluang untuk kau kau biar dia kecewa sebab kau dah ada yang lain.  Kau biar dia tergantung dengan tanda tanya.  Semua benda kau nak cerita dengan dia.  Kau tunjuk yang kau peduli pasal dia.  You force yourself into her world. With time when she gave in.  You disappear.  ...and you ask...

I hate the fact that im am crumbling at the memories of you.  The way you treat me.  The way you would tease me. The way you would make conversation with me.  They way you would get in my way and my nerve.  The way you show that you genuinely care for me. I hate that. The more i tried to put you off the more you came.  The stronger you try.  I guess i never realized that i had stop trying to ignore you long time ago.  That when i have lost.  This game however had breaks me to pieces.  I am crumble again and again.  The more i tried to forget you the more i think of you.  The more i try to distract myself the more thought of you came intk my mind.  Knowing myself better.  This is not a good sign.  I could end up in heart break sooner than i expected to be. Rather trying to get rid of you.  Maybe if i just learn to accept the truth and letting you go could be the wise decision i had make in a long time.  T...

People life are full of up and down. It is a never ending cycle. When do it stops? When we die. I have a fair share of low moment. Moment bila aq menangis kt tikar sembahyang sebab aq rsa lost dlm hidup. Moment nangis dlam toilet sebab marah kat diri sendiri lepas sedar kebodohan diri sendiri,  mudah percaya orang and end up diperbodohkan. Moment aq telan panadol 4 biji sebab stress. And lepas tuh 'pengsan' separuh hari.  Moment bila aq bergulung dalam selimut sebab unnecessary anxiety rush in my head. Moment bila aq 'naik hantu' smpai roomate aq pn takut nk tgk aq. Moment bila aq crying out random. Moment bila aq salahkan diri sendiri when things falling apart.  Moment bila aq x bole concentrate nak bt apa pun smpai aq rsa aq nie manusia paling bodoh.  At time i do feel like my life is falling apart.  Bila akal waras and im back to the world of the living.  Bila otak aq dah x menggila.  Aq tengok keliling.  Satu demi satu masuk da...

Why? When a guy persue you. Youre left with thousand if not million question. You're left torn either to accept it or not. what if he loses his interest once you were together. What if you end up hate him. What if he end up dislike you for your bad habit. What if he find some one better. What if at the end he left you when you already falling for him. What if after accepting him things turn. What if i make bad choices. What if i realized then that i dont want it. What if i then found someone better. What it he was not for me. The future posibility of heart break just slowly crushing my soul. What i afraid the most is not "to love someone. Is to letting someone love me." In fact i dont think i know what love is. What if i all just in your head. Writting this i realized that i need help.

Masuk tahun baru nie aq ada benda yang nak diluahkan. Dah setahun dah aq x jmpa dia. Facebook memories decided to open up an old wound by remind me of thing that ive been struggling to forget. Klau dulu aq blek dari asrama. Mesti curi masa gak p jmpa dia. Sembang sat pn jadi laa. Masa aq duk kl pn blek sebulan skali cari jlan nk jmpa. Sbb bagi aq she was a long term friend that i hoped to be forever. Well nothing ever last for ever. To be fair. She did thought me much. 1. Nothing last forever. 2. Everyone would leave us in the end. 3. There is something called trust and guts instinct 4. Believe in my self more. 5. Never pour so much without hold back on anyone. 6. Once they break ur trust. Walk away. If you want to give chance fine. But know limit and be catious. 7. Give space to your self so that you could see what really going on. Maannn the list could go on. I never been in love relationship before. But ill say that friendship break up is harder to move on. I love and ca...

So hari nie dlam pkui 4 lebih mcm tuh tgh dk kalut bt kerja.  Rushing nk bg siap. Dpt lak call.  Dk bajet nie x call panggil interview nie mesti hq it yg call.  Tup call salam x bg apa pn dak.  Dia trus tnya. - cik munirah ke ni? Ya saya. - keja x hari nie. ...... -keja ka tak? Keja! - oke rehat ke sekarang?  (Oke aq dh pelik) X ada kat office skrang nie. - oke pegi ke mesin timbang sekarang.  (Wtf?) Ha? - pegi mesin timbang sekarang. Sekarang? - ye.  Ye sekarang. O.. Oke. Jap. Terkedek lah aq tinggai meja berkaparan lari g fresh jap.  Smbil jlan tuh dgr laa suara dia dk ckap 30 apa tah.  X sure dia ckap ngan aq kaa apa.  Aq lak mcm nak maki jaa tp aq blur.  Kenapa plak nie? Oke dh smpai.  - ha.  Dh ada ka mesin timbang? Ha dk dpan nie.  ( nada dah tkr sarcastic,  aq pantang cepat jaa nk fight blek.) -oke tekan 3_ _ . . . Ha?  😦 - nmpak x kt mesin tuh 30_ ( mak nenek aq blur....

Days without you is like tea without sugar.  Cia cia cait.  Hahaha. (And i like my tea to be sweet) I tell myself look it not like this is a new thing. You have been prepare ur self for this since she hand out that 1st letter.  When you heard from her stories about how hard it is for her to stay.  And why she stay.  You been ready to let her go. And now she has gone for over a month.  But still nothing exciting to came in to find my best friend exited for seeing my face even though it hasn't been 24 hour you haven't seen each other.  Or someone to listen to my grumpy rumble. Someone to sit next to me and talk in a slow voice with just the two of us could hear it.  Someone who would chase you to went out for lunch on time. Who would have sad face when you have to work outside.  Whom would text if she not coming to work.  Whom i would text to is im not coming for work.  Aih.  I could end up in river of tear if i go on. Btw....