Munirah Meerasa

Kadang kita nak put blame kt orang yg kita tak suka or kita jadikan dia kambing hitam. then kita berjaya get rid of him/her. then what happen? dia dh x da. we manage to destroy them. after that. who will take the blow that normally give to him/her. who would be the fall guy for us after that?

Mimpi aq satu persatu aq record dlam nie. Bukan apa. Aq nie jarang mimpi. Then kalau mimpi aq nie mesti akan jd dlam real life 80% of the time. Or just simply had some meaning. Maybe kebanyakannya hnya mainan tido tp klau mimpi yg lain dari yg lain tuh aq akan teringat-ingat thus akan smpai sni laa crita tuh. Kali nie crita dia bersambung episode dua dh bru aq nk msk dlam nie. Kesah dia ada seorang journalist yg nk tlis story psai abah aq. Dia cari berbulan2 nk locate abah aq nie. Pencarian dia smpai dia jmpa aq. Aku pulak kaki goreng... Goreng dia smpai hangit smpai dari life story psai idop abah aq dia just dpat 10% jaa dari story abah aq. Aq sndri x tau kenapa. Tp aq berusaha x mau bg dia cari abah aq Luckily dia jmpa aq kt area jauh dari umah aq. Tp semalam dia berjaya cari rumah aq. Rumah kami pulak kebetulan masa tuh bru habeh kenduri. Aq dengan baju kurung. Tekejut bewak nmpak dia mai nek keta pajero dk lambai2 bla nmpak aq. Mmg dia expect akan jmpa aq. Harun btoi. Berusaha

Can i tell you something , But promise me one thing, You will listen, listen without judging, listen without asking, listen for me, not for you, listen to just...listen, listen not to understand, listen not to reply, listen even when you don't understand listen to me so that i can tell you everything, everything that i don't understand, everything that clouding my head, my mind, my heart, listen to me, so that i can tell you everything my fear my grief my wrath even the thing that i don't have name for even my demon listen to me patiently patiently so that i would learn to accept my feeling to stop hating myself learn to stay sane when i am slipping learn to keep on living when i don't want to. so can you?

What I am about to tell you is something that only happen in my dream so I am the type that once I sleep. There am no way that I going to wake up. If so happen I wake up in the middle of the night because of something. Of course I would remember every detail. Well this time I awoke from this dream at 4.50 am when my baby nephew is throwing tantrum, not because of that I wake up but rather wake up and hear his crying.  So this dream where should I start about it. I arrive at some place near the beach. And a man taller than me and quite muscular well more buff to be exact. So he guides me to this green trailer and open the door usher me to go inside. Half heartily I went inside and awe by the view. It is well furnished with one bed. So we spend the days there. no words spoken, just gesture and body language. His face? not visible. My mother always said that if the person that appear in your dream is recognizable it is fake or rather just a dream. Aka mainan tidur. But if the pers

When real life you avoid relationship but at night in your sleep you dream of being in relationship. . Is that how your inner desires speak to you?? And why the hell is that scared me. 

It is a time when I fell it not matter if I don’t ate the whole day. Starve myself? As if it is a option. Like I would fell anything better if I ate. I put food in my mouth and chomp away those thing and pushed it down my throat. That it. No feeling of satisfaction. I pickup up my phone and ran out of thing to scroll take out my laptop to the same old movies. I look outside. Maybe I could go out. But the dread of getting ready put on decent cloths put myself together, get out and go where? Takes a long ride to ergh no. going and coming from work just felt to long. It just 25 min away….and it feel like eternity. I ate because I fell like I need to do something. I need something to make me fell normal. To make me feel. I stand in front of the mirror seeing my sunken cheekbone. My dull skin. My thinning hair. Those tired eyes just had enough. Am I going to end up like the others. The one who just exhausted of world and leave. Empty. This hallow fells like an empty well that has no end