Dream Vs. Reality ...

-
What I am about to tell you is something that only happen in my dream so I am the type that once I sleep. There am no way that I going to wake up. If so happen I wake up in the middle of the night because of something. Of course I would remember every detail. Well this time I awoke from this dream at 4.50 am when my baby nephew is throwing tantrum, not because of that I wake up but rather wake up and hear his crying. 

So this dream where should I start about it.
I arrive at some place near the beach. And a man taller than me and quite muscular well more buff to be exact. So he guides me to this green trailer and open the door usher me to go inside. Half heartily I went inside and awe by the view. It is well furnished with one bed. So we spend the days there. no words spoken, just gesture and body language. His face? not visible. My mother always said that if the person that appear in your dream is recognizable it is fake or rather just a dream. Aka mainan tidur. But if the person face is blurred there is high chance that it is a sign so....believe what you want to believe.

Our relationship is rather not clear to me. Either my boyfriend or husband. Both are really impossible actually because I am a person that scared of relationship.

Because of my depression he decided that this is the best way for me to open up to him and heal myself. More for me to learn how to deal with my depression.

There is so many things that he do to make me deal with the demon inside me. at one point I reached my breaking point and hiding in a closet while crying so hard that im shaking. Clearly i've lost it.
He searched for me and found me. As soon as he found me he just pulls me in his arms and I slowly I stopped shaking and stopped crying. It’s been a while that I’ve let someone soothe me while I’m crying. And it been forever since I feel that comforting feeling. God how I wish that was real and not dream. But nah. It just a dream. 

Just in dream that I could feel all that. And that was it. That comforting feeling is now to far from reality and too far for me to reach it.


That is folks. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Aku rasa mati

-
aku rasa mati. yang aku rasa bila aku ingat rumah tak ada guna.  tak rasa nak duduk rumah.  aku nak lari.  jauh jauh pergi. tapi aku bukan sendiri.  aku pernah rasa ingin mati.  tapi aku padamkan bila ku bayang wajah dia. sekarang aku rasa hati ku mati.  disebabkan orang yang sama.  segalanya aku dahulukan mereka tapi mereka kini dahulukan diri sendiri aku hanya sekadar diperlukan selagi ada guna. untuk mereka kelihatan malaikat aku yang menjadikan sikap, sabar, kasih sayang mereka sebagai idola. kini merasa semuanya tidak berguna. apa perlu lagi usaha. buang segalanya pergi segalanya aku malu aku rasa mati.
Read more

Sering mimpi bertemu lelaki tua.

-
Disebabkan post sebelum nie pasal mimpi aq teringat mimpi yang aq pernah alami masa aq kecik lg. Seingat aq masa tuh aq belum pun sekolah lg. Banyak benda yg aq x igt masa aq kecik tp disebabkan benda nie jadi kat aq banyak kali dah. So kadang2 aq akan teringat lg kat mimpi tuh. Aq selalu mimpi tentang seorang lelaki tua yg baik orang tua nie selalu main dengan aq sembang dengan aq sampaikan aq jadi selesa tiap kali jmpa dia. Tapi selang beberapa tahun lepas tu aq stop mimpi pasal tuh. And masa aq dah masuk sekolah dah kalu x silap lah aq mimpi balik orang tua nie. Aq terkejut jumpa dia bila aq tnya kenapa dia dh x mai jmpa aq. Dia ckp yg dia dh x larat dah x macam dulu. Aq pun dah besar. Tapi satu benda yg aq ingat2 lupa dia kata aq yg x jmpa dia. Aq assume yg semakin aq mambesar. Semakin jauh lah dia dari aq. A part of me still miss the dream. Well mimpi tuh bt aq dpt rasa kasih seorang datuk terhadap cucu dia. Dan satu benda lg tiap kali aq mimpi jmpa dia kami akan dudu
Read more

Degree oh degree

-
Pergh tajuk. Dilema. Satu perkataan yg boleh describe aq saat nie. Sma pasai nak sambung degree. Aq memang nak sambung. Mcam mana pun tapi aq degan muet x ambik lg. Satu hal. Aq. Terpikir nak sambung taun depam tapi mak dengan abah pulak macam mana. Kalu ikut aq mana pun boleh. Kja dlu then sambung. Bkan sikit duit nak bt degree. Tp tulah. Abah ego melampau keja pn dah nak pencen still berkeras nak full support aq belajar lg. Masalah sekarang nie macam mana nak bagitau mak. Payah mak tuh jenis keras jugak last2 jd mcm kolej tuh tangkap muat ja. Bukan aq nie x da harapan langsung. Tekanan betul. Kawan aq pulak klau contac aq mesti tnya pasal muet. Hadoiii. Dengan adik aq tengah amik muet skarng. Bleh pulak mak aq kta aq tangguh. Ad aku gtau dia aq nak amik ka?. Jgn push aq sgt bleh? Aq.klau boleh malas nk fikir tp x fikir tkt pulak aq. X nak lah belajar separuh jalan saja. Nak sampai habis. Macam mana nak buat nie. Arghh.
Read more