Munirah Meerasa

Mark one two three Peg i kerja matahari x naik lagi. Then balik kerja gelap dah jlan smpai mcm dh x da rsa apa. Time mcm nie aq slalu pikir what am I doing with my life? Am I happy with my work? Am I satisfied do what I do now? Are the enviroment are to my liking? Am I happy? To tell the truth I dont know. I dont have the answer to that. I not sure to keep going or to move on. To leave it here or to stay. Telling myself its fine. Its going to be okay. Then what? Things turn bitter. As my motivated my self. Then come others try to destroy it. I am not happy. But I keep holding on like it was nothing. Man this is exhausting. I am exhausted.

I just had a moment before writing this.  But what ever.  Dear boss who thought  that lying to the subordinate is acceptable because that the way you sees they would listen to you.  Let me tell you that degree holder or diploma holder subordinate of yours.  aint got their diploma with just nodding their head without think back what you said.  See you thought that oh if i just use the manager name who have more power than i do they wouldn't questions me and just follow it.  Done.  Owh i might not making sense but they wouldn't find out even if i alter the truth a little.  Well know what.  F*** you.  Coz this gurl had bezilion ways to survive and one of it is actually by making friends with the person who you would never ever think i would.  Let me tell you  something.  Just because im not there it doesn't mean that i wouldn't find out.  Even it is in another country like in perak perhaps.  Don't think i d...

May i just let it out there  that this is going to be super random post ever.  Like seriously.  So for the last two days i got sick really bad with the fever and flu.  But thank god today i am recovering . Anyway. With runny nose yesterday i tried to do my best at work.  Just remind me of my conversation with a friend. Once she came out with an old term that malays always use to describe youngsters . That is "budak hingusan" she be like. Kenapa org muda dipanggil budak hingusan. And i was like seriously ?? Never on top of my head i eve questioning that.  Ever. But still i answer. Maybe because youngsters have clumsy life and still immature to control their self.  Like they dont really pandai nak lap lah sng crita.  Dont take me as gross right now. Then she just like looking around in the office and do you ever sees an grown up with runny nose? 😨😱 Like  whaat?? Wait.  No.  Never. Yeah i guess old people do...

Dia igt aq x sedih yg dia nikah aq x bleh hadir. Aq siap imagine lg suasana dia mcm mna. Apa aq nk bt. Aq nak pegang tgn hang msa saat sejarah tuh jadi. Tp hancur. Aq sedih...tp aq sabaq ja. Janji selamat. Tuh ja. Hang sorang ja kot kakak aq. Tp sebabnya biar lah aq srg ja tau. Tkt kang membara lak mata nie. Dah la demam. Aq bleh simpan dlam hati jaa. Kecewa dia mcm mna.

Yeah how about i take you back in time when I was 15. Masa PMR paper kemahiran hidup. Kalau dulu or sekarang aq x tau laa mcm mna exam dijalankan. Tapi masa aq dlu kena bahagi balik kedudukan. Dah aq ambik mata pelajaran sains pertanian so... bayangkan dalam kelas biasa kami amik exam. And susunan kedudukan aq pulak belakang sekali di pintu belakang. Rapat ke dinding. Yeah great. So sebelum masuk aq dah siap2 tgk jadual bagai and amik alat tulis aku nie dah ready konon. Sbb aq memang target score punya paper nie. Sekali dush. Aq bru berjalan ke tempat aq nie. X smpai lg tp aq dah nmpak dah sapa dk sebelah aq. Adoiii. Ada ka patot. Orang terakhir yang aq harap dk situ. Fazli ahmad. Tau dak macam mna susahnya aq nk fokus dalam kelas kalau and duk satu line depan aq. Tuh depan. Nie sebelah. Boleh kata dalam dua tahun aq dk mengelak dari ada direct contact ngan dia tau2 this happen. I never even talk to the guy. Okay so his sitting on my right. Just one step away from me. And at tha...

She just going to get married. And why am I getting irritated by everything. From the way she talk to the way she look at everyone. Shit. Fuck it. I hate it. The way she just take every effort of my mother and father as it was nothing. And whe. Came the in laws. It like they were god like. Everything is so great. Yeah she becoming a wife. Another family daughter. And so she drifted apart and ignorance of the person who dont sleeps at night preparing for your life onwards. Man...this bother me that much that I give up sleep over this.

Dont you ever look at someone and with just one look you can already tell who they are? Inside. How their personality are. How their thought work. How they think of them and others. How dark can they be. How dark can you be... The more you look the more you realize that there are nothing but a selfish creature who have no Intention to bring goods to other but only to themselves. The joy of having these abilities ever make you understand how people are. But it make you realize how you really are on the inside. What if it only bring you pain Pain when you are no longer suprised when you sees that ugly came out.