"I wish to go back to where i was."
I wish i can say that, I wish, me before was this was happy and have an exiting life. But oh no, i don't. Most of my childhood memories is gone. Not just faded, but gone completely. Its like those memories is force out from my brain.
Yeah, if i sums up what my "memory" was like, i can assume that it quite traumatizing.
How i know?
From stories that my mother sometimes tell me. Because i don't remember any of it. I consciously create image in my brain imagine how it would be based on the stories that she told me about.
How bad i was bullied,
How terrified i was, to talk to basically anyone.
How i so afraid of my kindergarten assistant that one time i spill my soup on the floor during snack time. i wipe the floor using my own uniform because i afraid of what she would do to me if she find out about it.
How i would stare at the ceiling of my mother bedroom thinking what it would be if i am braver that i am. How could i make them repay what they did to me.
Okay literally my mind goes blank.
Yeah, if i sums up what my "memory" was like, i can assume that it quite traumatizing.
How i know?
From stories that my mother sometimes tell me. Because i don't remember any of it. I consciously create image in my brain imagine how it would be based on the stories that she told me about.
How bad i was bullied,
How terrified i was, to talk to basically anyone.
How i so afraid of my kindergarten assistant that one time i spill my soup on the floor during snack time. i wipe the floor using my own uniform because i afraid of what she would do to me if she find out about it.
How i would stare at the ceiling of my mother bedroom thinking what it would be if i am braver that i am. How could i make them repay what they did to me.
Okay literally my mind goes blank.
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