Munirah Meerasa

 Bismillah,  I honestly don't know if I'm ever going to talk about this, or even write about this. So if this ended up on my blog I would take it as my way to express my feeling because god knows that I am notorious for being bad at expressing my feelings. I either don't know how to articulate my feelings or oversharing.  I have to take everything that happens must have happened with a reason. Life is nothing but a constant changing. But since I was little growing up we don't talk about our feelings. Everything was swept up under the rug. We never discuss or talk about how we were feeling and talk about why that feeling is there.  All my childhood ever since I can remember I was my mother's confidante. I was young and didn't know what to make of it or how to react. So I sat there listening to my mother talk about my father, my half siblings, my father's family side, my mother's family side. Her frustration, her anger, her disappointment everything that s...

aku rasa mati. yang aku rasa bila aku ingat rumah tak ada guna.  tak rasa nak duduk rumah.  aku nak lari.  jauh jauh pergi. tapi aku bukan sendiri.  aku pernah rasa ingin mati.  tapi aku padamkan bila ku bayang wajah dia. sekarang aku rasa hati ku mati.  disebabkan orang yang sama.  segalanya aku dahulukan mereka tapi mereka kini dahulukan diri sendiri aku hanya sekadar diperlukan selagi ada guna. untuk mereka kelihatan malaikat aku yang menjadikan sikap, sabar, kasih sayang mereka sebagai idola. kini merasa semuanya tidak berguna. apa perlu lagi usaha. buang segalanya pergi segalanya aku malu aku rasa mati.