A LITTLE bit off.

I shut my eyes, trying to calm my self. I pressed my lips together. Why the fuck did he talk so fucking slow. It just a simple question. Give me a simple answer. I rub my temple with my right hand while the other hand is grabbing the phone half listening half is trying to calm down. I don't know why today though. I'm just, off. I bit my lower lip, holding it in, do. not. explode. While the person on the line is still going on how his subordinates is so problematic with his attendance and all. I've been holding myself together to not cut him off. I am not always like this. Usually, i am very level headed person. Even when push come to shove, i will always try to turn around to focus on the problem and not people. Never point fingers to say i was right, you were wrong. 

But, today. I was feeling a LITTLE bit, off. 

I inhale, "hmm, yeah" "...he been having problems with his wife. She beat him up, at least that what he said.." "did he go to clinic and get mc?" I low-key cut him off. A short pause. "Hm, no." Seriously? My ear feels hot now.

"Then? What now?" Is he expecting i would just take that story and present to the boss? Fuck that!. Shit, Calm down. I can feel my face is fuming. I look up, still trying to hold myself together. At the corner of my eyes i can see the printer, the side panel is being open. Great. What. now?! The paper must be stuck, standing beside the printer is a girl from the other departments is looking through the printer screen and back to the side panel that i assume she just open, she clearly don't know what wrong with the printer but she keeps opening the panel and close it back up, hoping it would work, but every time it would beep that defeaning 'error' sounds. The sound of that printer error is like needle that is slowly pressing my ear. I...

Why, why. i tried to hold it together and people just keep trying me. That it 

I inhale and with one breath. "Now, his story with his wife, is not my problem. He either come up with a medical certificate or i will report him as Absent. Okay. Or you can approve his leave. Either way i need the form completed with signature submitted to me before lunch. Okay." Me while fuming with anger trying to sound not angry, just end up.sounds sassy and so... sarcastic. "Hm okay." He breathed in to the phone. I hung up. Breath out. I had my head my my hand.

I hate when i can't control myself. But sometimes i can't just control it. It's the simple things, but I just get soo angry. 

I get up from my seat so fast that had my coworker that sit next to me turn her head towards me, when the printer beeps again. I walked towards it and stand in front of the printer screen. The girl just now moved to the side giving me the view if the printer even though i ignored her completely. I pressed the button one the screen and pull the paper tray out and turn the paper putting it back neatly. I closed the panel slowly but pressed it in the correct way that it just slide in close. The red error beep and then the printer load, few seconds after that the printer continue print like normal. With that i walk away without saying anything. Better that way. I know if i open my mouth, i would spat shit that i would hate myself for it. I am not myself right now. Well i am not myself most of the time, but this time i am not a person you want to be around with. I was halfway into the restroom when her voice thanking me reach me ear. I sit in the toilet not doing anything. I breathe in and out. When i walk out to the sink i wash my hand and not looking at my face, i walk out. I can feel the aura in the office is slightly off. Few co-workers glancing towards me and turn back facing the computer. I avoid looking at people. I buried my self with work. Trying not to be an asshole. 

I click on my email tab to check about something. And noticed i got a message. 

"Have you submitted my MC yet, HR is asking." Again, that piece of shit. I about to type on the keyboard about to tell him off then, i stop, i inhaled. It's either i type an angry and snappy messages back to him being petty, or i might just end up punching someone. I grabbed the file clip and pull on it, so hard that it snap in to two.  I.can.work.right.now.not.like.this. i decided not to respond. The fuck he thinks he is? He just submitted to me his MC just half an hour ago. Did he think i do work for him that i report to him that i have nothing to do and take his precious MC to hr immediately after he just fucking submitted to me that morning. Fuck off, he can shove it up his royal ass. 

I looked around at the mess on my table. I would end up exploded in front of everyone and loose my marbles or i can go somewhere private and calm my evil twin that decided to front today. Yes, i am a Gemini. They said Gemini is two-faced, duality, have an evil twin. Well I said. Don't fuck with me today bitch.