Sleep Paralysis
So Sleep Paralysis.
What is Sleep Paralysis?
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From my casual cursory research i found out that it's usually happen once or twice in a life time but this is not an isolated issue for me.
My experience with it dated back to 16 years old me. First time in boarding school in the mid of busy orientation week. hell hectic for me. Because the activity start at 3.00 am until 12.00 midnight. Non stop. Even shower is rush and meal time is as quick as you can.
Long story short from my laid back nature to just take it slow and steady and always, always late, to a busy and move-move-move kind of life. yes i was a little taken aback by it. I'm not gonna lie that i am unable to cope with the sudden change of a lifestyle. So like a 'normal' human that gone through shock. My health deteriorated meaning fever and what not.
In just two-week I loss 5 kg.
With all that is going on no wonder my brain is not as sharp as i would be. So one night after a 'Maulidur Rasul Parade' i take a nap, and by nap i mean skip dinner and just passed out in my room alone before shower.
I was exhausted.
Not eating well.
And quite honestly anxious.
I remember light shining through my closed lid as if someone just turn on the light, and sudden commotion in the room. It's almost like 20 people are having separate conversation. Then. It hit me. I can't move. My whole body being pressed down. As if there are someone taking an invisible pillow and using their weight and pressed down on top of me. I was panicked because that never happen to me before. First time ever i felt scared. That was it.
I struggle to move my shoulder, my arm, my legs. But no avail. After been struggling for what felt like an eternity. I heard someone voice loud and clear and the commotion that i heard earlier gone, poof, and the force that is pressing on my body is gone. I opened my eyes and saw my senior is coming in through the dorm door. The light is on and the room is empty. I was the only person there.
I never tell any person about this. I dint want them to get scared. Also I don't know what the hell just happened. I keep thinking about it after that.
But as time goes on i forget about it. Until, one day the similar thing happen, I was force to question my belief. I never believed in 'ghost'. Frankly I don't know if I ever would believe it. But weird things keep happening to me. As time went on I forget about that incident. I forgot when but soon it start to happen again. This time also when the room start to experience paranormal activities. At the time all i know is that i need to have better before bedtime routine. Just to make sure i don't passed out and end up experience sleep paralysis in the middle of the night.
Time goes by and now I am year two. Although i am constantly having sleep paralysis, it is not that bad. Until I moved room and sleeping alone in four bunk bed. My schedule for the first week was hell, so I don't remember much. But it start to happen again to the point of almost every day. And few time a night. One time I sleep on my side and I have sleep paralysis during the day. When I managed to break free I start to fall back asleep and then it happen again. This things repeat for like four or five times at a time. To a point of exhaustion. When that happen i just wake up and stay awake.
The worst sleep paralysis experience was i think mid year when i was in deep sleep and awake by nothing. I open my eyes and the room is dark. Only light from the road shining through the window illuminating the room. Then i start to feel heavy and i don't panic as this things always happen to me almost every single day. So i know what to do. Calmly i tried to break free. But something is different. I think i start to disassociate. As i start to feel like a hand with claw is clutching on my hand that are resting on my stomach. I tried to calm and not panic. then i felt like something on my neck. and slowly i felt pressure and its getting harder to breathe. Now i start to panic. Right at the time my brain is registering what is happening to my neck area, my whole body start to fall backwards its almost like when you on a theme park ride and the roller coaster is about to fall, but its backwards.
I struggle even harder this time, and because of panic i tried to scream. While being choke, pressed at the chest, can't move my whole body and now i am falling. I am full-blown panic mode. i opened my eyes and saw a reflection on the curtain, head, shoulder almost like my own shadow but standing up and looking down at me. the shadow is also continue to my own feet. This make me even more rattled than i am, quickly i shut my eyes.
It take few seconds for me to hears it but i start to heard like a group of people reciting "Quran" in my right ear. It's not clear what the Surah they recite or who is reciting the surah. All i know at the time was that i felt like i am not alone. And i am going to be okay. Slowly i Recite aya Kursi and i don't have to recite until the end i felt like my body slowly in the position. the hand around my neck choking me is no longer there slowly releasing my neck and i can feel it moves down my body and when it arrive at my hand i open my eyes and saw it like another hand on top on my clasped hand and slowly the whole tension, pressing sensation on my body is gone. and i am fully awake now. I could remember every single detail of the incident that night. i don't think i can sleep that night. and the next morning. i called my mom and tell her everything that happen. Which shows that I am effected with this. as i never told my mom any of other experience i had before other than that night. Of course mother. right after i done with my story she full attacked me with question and i get a handful from her. I still experience the consequences weeks after that. That just reminded me to just keep it to myself after this.
Anyway back to current time. Last night, after a long time i again had sleep paralysis this time it start with a dream that is so bizarre and then i cant moved. I tried to break free and then go back to sleep. But the same thing happen again for about 5 time. I was exhausted that i just woke up at four am because i feel like every time i tried to sleep i had sleep paralysis. And its like my brain is running at at a speed and with added anxiety i just give up. Given that you would guess that i am cranky the whole day.
Now that I'm done telling you my experience and rant. Tell me, do you ever experience sleep paralysis?
If so, what its feels like? I want to know.
Does your sleep paralysis come with hallucination?
How often you had sleep paralysis?
Do you find my story surprised you?
I am curious. There is not that many people in my life experience sleep paralysis. So usually its just me telling my stories to anyone who want to listen and resulting in freaking them out. Or just majority of them don't even want to know anything about it.
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