Instant Noodles My Story

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Random thought bring me back to the 21 yr old me that live off my student loan and parents allowance. There once i was on a tight spot that i had to save money on food that i went through three week eating nothing but instant noodles. Craving for 'real food' so bad that i salivating over the 'pau' sold out in front of my college gate. Spend like 10 min debating with myself. Either to spend RM 4.00 over that and fix my craving or save that money for meal that could last a week, before my dad bank in my allowance. That time RM 10.00 would be so luxurious thing to have around. I would save any coin i ever had and when that time came would use it to buy my emergency pack of instant noodles. That could save me for a week. One meal a day and i could last for 5 days. And that 'pau' i did purchase that thing and until now i feel a little ashamed of how i would look while counting my money taking out a crumpled one ringgit note and pay the uncle. Living on the big city is tough. Until now i had this restrictions over myself that i would feel extremely guilty if i ever spend so much money on one thing. (It is subconscious of course) Because back in the college days. Even Rm 5.00 could save my sorry ass for five days.

I once bought a red tote bag that cost RM 40.00 from my students loan and i used it to deaths. Literally, until i graduate and while doing my internship i still using that tote bag. I still keep that bag and refuse to throw it away no matter how dire its had been.

Its became a bad habit of mine. I would go to an extreme effort to spend less buying thing for myself. I can't help myself. Even now while working with my diploma qualifications paycheck. I still would look the price of RM 40.00 for a shoes is ridiculous.

My mom and sis would say things like "buy nice things for yourself once in a while and stop buying that cheap thing that wouldn't last for long. " hah like i would listen to that. I felt guilty as hell but assuring myself that i spend so much money for this i would use it until it fallen apart.

Silly, i know. But only those who been in that situation could understand it. And fyi. That pau story. I never tell another soul ever. It's just came back to me tonight as i eating an instant noodles out of craving. Funny how live can be. The very thing that almost keeping me alive now is just another food that i came to buy once in a while when i feel like eating it.

To those who studying far from home. The struggle is real when you are adapting the big city life. The expensive life with just your parents allowance. Its hard to even tell them that your pocket is tight and you counting every cent you have left before the 1st coming along.
Owh and you name it. What flavour of instant noodles thst i haven't tried out yet. Me and my house mate would go to get grocery and stand in the instant noodles alleys be like "owh look new flavor. " one look at each other after saw the price and we both would say.  "Lets wait for the PTPTN. "

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